Way 8 Out of the Caregiving Wilderness - Saying No

Saying no is difficult but essential to leaving the caregiving wilderness. I've been practicing for almost a year now and have had the most difficult time.

I love to say yes. I love to be active, busy and 'productive.' But what I have learned about saying no is it brings a new form of productivity. 

Lets review my before and after pictures.  Before I was saying yes to almost everything and was so spread out I didn't "have time" for almost anything that gave me joy.

Shadow of my former self:

 

I would run from activity to activity barely moving beyond the surface which was causing me to be a shadow in my own life.  I was tired, and cranky.  I was unable to go deeply into the joy in a moment before snatching up and going to the next item. Therefore last fall, I slowly started saying no.  Then finally gave myself permission to always saying no.

 

At first this was very hard, as I was invited to beautiful opportunities.  Which honestly I feel so many things I am invited to participate in are beautiful and wonderful.  Finally I became more comfortable with saying no and pushing back even on work assignments that really seemed out of sync with my workload and skill sets.  I was able to finally listen to my body and ask what do you want?  What dear soul do you need?

 

This is what I was able to hear about myself.  I needed to work out, pray and eat better.  I lost 25 pounds.  I had the opportunity to work out with Jillian Michaels- I said yes and am going in July! I gave the gift of going to Australia to my husband to meet his grandson and had the time to pick up the extra activities at home.  I said yes to going on a pilgrimage with my son in September! 

 

This is me now.  As I look at new opportunities - I default to no.  I listen to my body, spirit and slowly say to what I need and who I am authentically called to be.

 

Peace be with you!