Way 9 Out of Caregiving loneliness " Make your I statements and Make the call!

One thing I have noticed over the years is how people (including myself at times) are lonely.  Even though they are in places with many people such as a crowded room, a church, a large family, marriage etc.  The ability to find the way to communicate in midst of loneliness is difficult and can seem over bearing.  I am lonely today as I've been a "2nd shift widow" for almost 3 months (my husband is working 2nd shift).  As caregivers we don't often talk about our needs and this is one...I'm lonely sometimes. 

The last time I felt particular lonely was during the intense illness of our son Jeremiah who was having uncontrollable seizures for about 10 days which felt like a year.  During this time I didn't get much sleep, my conversations were short, I couldn't focus, pray, or anything.  I found all my spiritual, physical and mental states were all depleted.  For caregivers this type of event creates a "loneliness kindling."  All our conversations are about the other, very intense and few if any of them are about our own needs.

Then usually there is a match event.  A further need of intense care of those impacted by the event.  Our other children's needs, spouse, work and of course all the day to day things that got left undone - bills etc. When the match is lit I am feeling so alone that I am unable to find myself or God.

This last time my loneliness was intense I found these things helped...although extreme. I travelled to a 3 day breast cancer event.  I walked 60 miles over 3 days, slept when I wanted, talk to strangers, listened, and ate what I wanted.  I only had to care for myself.  I prayed, I walked,  I ate, I slept.  I began to use I statements.  Because I was actually just caring for myself and not -every-one-else.

My friend, if you are finding yourself lonely in crowded places or by yourself do these things.  Clear your mind, to do list and other statements.  Connect spiritually with God and listen to yourself.  Create some I statements - I would like to, I am wanting to, I am feeling, I am beautiful (because damn right you are). Find your voice again then call someone and listen to them.  Tell them some of your I statements, help them make I statements! Guess what your phone that you scroll on, Facebook on actually can be used to call someone.  I would love to talk to you.  And so many other people would too.

Peace!