Waiting for grace to return

I grew up in the country and one thing that use to bug my very patient mom a bit crazy was the opening and closing of the front door.  The screen door probably got opened and slammed closed at least 60 times a day so I cannot blame her for being annoyed.  I would give anything for that unrelenting sound to be present in our home.

We have had a difficult week with seizures opening and closing in on Jeremiah.  They began last Friday and continue to seize him today.  I am so tired.  We are all tired.  The experience of watching someone you love seize is very difficult to explain but I will try.  It is like watching an accident which continues to replay and you cannot stop it.  You don't think you can go to bed, leave the house or relax in your chair because every bump or sound could mean they are starting again.  At some point you realize you have to sleep or you'll go mad.  You have to eat or you'll starve.  You have to pray or who else is going to listen to the deep cry of your spirit?

This morning I am reminded by the psalmist who said:

Psalm 77^[a]

    For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm. ¹ I cried out to God for help;
   I cried out to God to hear me.
² When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
   at night I stretched out untiring hands,
   and I would not be comforted.
 ³ I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
   I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.^[b]
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
   I was too troubled to speak.
⁵ I thought about the former days,
   the years of long ago;
⁶ I remembered my songs in the night.
   My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
 ⁷ “Will the Lord reject forever?
   Will he never show his favor again?
⁸ Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
   Has his promise failed for all time?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be merciful?
   Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
 ¹⁰ Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
   the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
   yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
¹² I will consider all your works
   and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

If nothing else I am unrelenting.  I won't let go of God even when I feel God has let go of me.  Please pray for all of us, for God's grace to be revealed, for the normal sounds of summer to return.