Today I begin a series of writings on a subject many of you may find well - uncomfortable and perhaps even taboo. It may even be a difficult time for some to read this blog as Christmas is approaching and all the force feeding of sweet gooey music, commercials, television, radio program, school events etc. However this subject never has a perfect time and I have been thinking about for at least 16 years. It is a subject that I must work through and for those of you who need to as well you are welcome to join me. My subject? - Planning the funeral of my child.
Its okay to turn away now. I understand as I have turned away so many times and have not wanted to pursue this subject anymore but in theory. But as many of you know when you have a special child you live in a weird world. One in which you have to think about not only their health and death consistently but also your own. If I die first then what? If he dies first then what? Neither is a subject we wish to explore but it must be so. Parenting a special child then demands a unique and loving strategy that is not easy to pursue.
So first I will dive into why now? Why am I talking about this difficult subject today as oppose to say 10 years ago, or 1 year ago? Well, there is nothing in particular that has happened so do not worry about that. I just believe that when my son does die, I will be so filled with sadness that I want to be able to just be. To not have to make plans. I just want a plan to whip out and do. Without any thought to it. That is why.
There is also no perfect time to pursue this subject, but there are times in my life I should not pursue this issue - when my own health is suffering, when my son is going through a terrible bout of illnesses and basically when I am stressed out to the max. I am in a in between state right now. My health is good, those I am closest too are and well it is a safe place to be.
Finally to plan my son's funeral is an act of love - loving my son, loving myself, and loving those around me. So here we go my friends, you are
welcome to read and consider and gently pray with me as we drive ahead,
planning my son's funeral.
Next: How to broach the subject with others, and who to include on this journey.
Its okay to turn away now. I understand as I have turned away so many times and have not wanted to pursue this subject anymore but in theory. But as many of you know when you have a special child you live in a weird world. One in which you have to think about not only their health and death consistently but also your own. If I die first then what? If he dies first then what? Neither is a subject we wish to explore but it must be so. Parenting a special child then demands a unique and loving strategy that is not easy to pursue.
So first I will dive into why now? Why am I talking about this difficult subject today as oppose to say 10 years ago, or 1 year ago? Well, there is nothing in particular that has happened so do not worry about that. I just believe that when my son does die, I will be so filled with sadness that I want to be able to just be. To not have to make plans. I just want a plan to whip out and do. Without any thought to it. That is why.
There is also no perfect time to pursue this subject, but there are times in my life I should not pursue this issue - when my own health is suffering, when my son is going through a terrible bout of illnesses and basically when I am stressed out to the max. I am in a in between state right now. My health is good, those I am closest too are and well it is a safe place to be.
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| Driving Ahead into a Difficult Subject |
Next: How to broach the subject with others, and who to include on this journey.
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