Tired

I am currently listening to The Alman Brothers Dream song. It certainly fits my mood.."just one more morning I had to wake up with the blues..pull myself out of bed and put on my walking shoes, went up on the mountain to see what I could see, the whole world is falling right down in front of me."

I have been working for two hours finishing up my paper work for the board of ordain ministry. I am tired, and sinking. Being great at paperwork is something I have never aspire to be. Yet here I am filling out extensive paperwork to be and continue to be a minister. I have always been difficult even as a child. My mind always wheels a tape that saids why. Why must I do this? Does this add to the situation enhancing it or make it worse? In this case the paperwork process I know is suppose to enhance my ability to be a minister but so far only feels like punishment.

Part of it I suspect is because I grew up in a vocal or verbal community. A community where speaking and action was more important than written word. Not that we didn't read, in fact we read a lot. But reading was secondary to being and speaking with one another. So when I sit to write these mounds of paper work I can't help but think about all the people I could be with and talk to.

So here I am pulling myself together as the song said, putting on my walking shoes and will climb this mountain with God praying for strength to try and be the paperwork queen for one day..just today God. And I hear the voice of my mom (see picture) who I miss everyday..encouraging me to be the best because I already am the best!

Peace!